So, okay. I promised myself that I would start being at least 51 percent happy as the first step in my quest to better my life via Law of Attraction. Since the two days I have attempted this whole’ being enthralled with life stuff ‘ have fallen on a weekend, it has been fairly easy to remain upbeat and hopeful about the future. However, tomorrow I have to venture out into the real world where day drinking and not wearing pants is frowned upon. Factor in going to work (at 5 am, ugh) and interacting with human beings, and this does not bode well for me remaining cheerful about life.
Somehow I need to find a solution for this problem that doesn’t involve wine. Hmmm, thinking about not drinking wine is already making me unhappy. Clearly I need to harness my chi or whatever and garner a whole lot more zen into my life.
I am aware that meditation is supposed to be a great way to be at peace with yourself, the world, and all the unforgivingly stupid people that live in it, but as with many things in this life, I am very bad at it.
At first glance, mediation seems like something I should excel at, because it requires zero physical effort, it involves being comfortable, and in a higher state of relaxation . Right? It sounds a lot like sleep and/or laziness, which I love. But then, there’s the whole focusing your mind part and that’s where shit goes awry for me. Like, right now as I’m writing this, I am also snap-chatting, drinking wine, eating popcorn, watching Football playoffs, and intermittently checking Twitter to check if there’s any update on a possible Kylie Jenner pregnancy. Spoiler: there’s not. Just confirm it already, Kylie. I need answers.
When I lived in San Diego, I had a friend who I would meditate with. We would go at midnight to the cliffs at Ocean Beach, and sit there under the moon with just a blanket and a candle. For the same reason I pay to go to the gym instead of running for free outside, I need something or someone to keep me focused. A meditating ‘ommie’ if you will (get it? like homie, but om?? Come on, it’s funny). And if you suggest a yoga class I will stab you in the face.
Unfortunately, my few Seattle friends aren’t so much into balancing their chakras and whatnot. My best friend Jenn would absolutely push me off a cliff before she would meditate with me on one.
This means that if I want to pursue this option of a higher spiritual attainment I’m gonna have to go it alone for now. *Sigh* Alright….. Candles? Check. Buddha statue? Check. Wine? Check. Burrito? Check. Meditation, I am here for you.
What? Burritos are zen as fuck. Let’s do this.
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