Apparently, I picked the worst couple of weeks ever to try and be more zen-like. Right after I declared that I was going to get back into meditating in an attempt to be more calm and positive, a kitchen remodel unexpectedly happened. See, I temporarily live with my brother, his wife, and their 2 small children (which in and of itself is decidedly NOT even close to zen) in their basement. The plan has always been to move back to San Diego in the near future so staying with them is what I’m doing with my life for now. Anyways, unbeknownst to me, my brother hired maybe the worst guy in the history of all kitchen remodel guys to do a MAJOR kitchen remodel. Like knocking down walls, replacing floors and shit remodel. He was a 60 year old hippie who I’m pretty sure just mostly smoked pot instead of doing any real work. Oh and he also brought his dog over everyday and spent more time paying attention to him instead of installing new cabinets. Imagine 3 weeks of a lot of noise, dust, and a weird hippie dude and his dog hanging around. Combine that with 2 screaming small children and it was maybe the most un-zen weeks of my life.
Now that the remodel is over, thank God, it’s time for me to refocus and actually do this whole mediation/chilling out on being so annoyed with life thing. Honestly, if the kitchen remodel hadn’t happened, I would have just found another excuse to procrastinate for weeks. I feel like the Universe just karma’d my ass. Like “Oh, you’re going to not do what you said, plus continue to have general disdain for life in general? Well, OK. You want chaos? I’ll show you chaos. Suck it, bitch!” Yeah, in my mind the Universe gets ghetto on you sometimes.
Delving deeper into this whole mediation idea and how it correlates with Law of Attraction, I realize that the meditation is only partly useful. First, it’s better to visualize what you are trying to attract, focus on that and then try to meditate for the answer or clarity about how to go about getting it. Or at least a first step in obtaining whatever it is you are asking for. Since I have a hard time focusing, visualizing something first helps me to be better at this whole process. Also, I decided that I should turn off my phone and put it in another room during this process to avoid my compulsion to check Twitter one million times a day. I mean, it’s extremely important for me to know immediately when Khloe decides to either forgive, or leave Tristan’s sorry ass for cheating on her. Also, Kanye is having a moment on Twitter right now and I’m here for that. However, I suppose that my success in life and overall happiness is slightly more important. *Sigh*
Obviously meditation can be calming on its own, but, because I’m trying to use LOA, it’s better for me if I picked something to focus my energy on, visualize it then meditate on it. What will most likely happen is that I’ll fall asleep but I’ll give it a valiant, concerted effort.
Due to the aforementioned co-habitation with 2 small children under the age of 4, I have decided that what I need most in my life is to have my own apartment. My own space. Where I don’t have to hear “The Wheels on the Bus” 100 times in a row. Or watch Vampirina. There are many things wrong with this childrens show but my main concern is they are Vampires who named their child Vamprina. Isn’t that like naming a human girl Humanina? Seriously, Vampirina disturbs me more than cartoon tigers that wear sweaters and shoes and even a wristwatch , but don’t wear pants. You get the point. I need out.
I love my niece and nephew more than anything but when I find myself analyzing children’s shows and humming songs from Daniel Tiger all day, it’s definitely time. I probably would have come to this conclusion sooner, but I was on Twitter.
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