So I did the damn thing. Focused on what I wanted in life (to get the fuck out of Seattle), meditated, had Inspired Thoughts and took Inspired Action just like LOA says to do. I did it. And then it all went to shit, as life often does.
And by ‘went to shit’ I mean that I freaked out. For 5 days I was positive and happy and applied for jobs and was all like “yeah! this is gonna work out and be great!” Then seemingly nothing was happening so I panicked. I had packed up my whole life and driven the 18 hours to Las Vegas to stay with my friend Tom while I looked for jobs in San Diego with not much money, so yeah, I was a little distressed once I really had time to think about it.
I got in my head and constantly worried and stressed nonstop for a week about money, if I was going to hear about an interview, and kept imagining the worst. I was sure I’d be forced to go back to Seattle forever and ever where all my hopes and dreams would die a sad and painful death. Yes I am fully understanding how dramatic this all sounds but it was really what was going through my mind. Like, where the hell was my inner bad bitch during all this?? She was probably getting drunk and ignoring my crazy ass. I don’t blame her.
So this is where I was at in life. Unhappy, stressed and in a complete funk. Then last night I had a dream. An ‘I’m asleep’ dream, not a Martin Luther King situation. In the dream, everything I’ve been worried about happened and I woke up in a sheer panic and feeling emotional. I don’t even think I was fully awake when I realized that if I keep feeling the way I’ve been feeling that it WAS going to become a reality.
Law of Attraction is always giving you not just what you ask for, BUT also predominately what you are feeling. Well, fuck. I felt like I was in high school all over again, when you realize you are in danger of failing a class that you really need to pass in order to graduate on time. I’d say college, but I pretty much never passed any of those classes anyway because I was too busy having a social life. Clearly you could argue that this foreshadows where I am currently at in my life. But, I digress.
I decided to do what I did in high school when I was in danger of failing. Cram. That’s right, pulling out all the stops, hail mary-ing this bitch. Does the Universe give extra credit??
I’m talking re-watching ‘The Secret’, re-reading LOA books, keeping myself in a constant state of hopefulness and positivity. This HAS to work. I’m not going back to Seattle. Also did I mention drinking abundant amounts of alcohol? What? It makes me happy. Every bit counts.
Come on Universe, make my goals and dreams happen. I believe in you. Did I mention this HAS to happen? Soon? I did? Cheers!!
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