Month: November 2018

Today I went to a psychic because I felt like after my disastrous state of flow experiment, I needed a little spiritual guidance in my life. I’ve been to psychics before and some are better than others, but 99% of the time I leave a reading, I feel better than before. If you don’t believe in psychics I couldn’t care less. It works for me, and it’s cheaper than therapy. So seriously, don’t leave me any dumb comments about your opinions stating otherwise. La la la la I-can’t-hear-youuuuuuu la la la

Anyways, I was expecting to hear about how I shouldn’t go back to my idiot ex, or that I shouldn’t spend any more money online shopping. And by online shopping, I mean DoorDash. Instead, she told me that my Manipura chakra is pretty much fucked. For those of you who aren’t chakra savvy, this is your 3rd chakra and it controls your ability to manifest things into your life, as well as intuition and self-confidence. Which makes sense. Ever since 2 years ago when I was going through shit and began a slow decent into hell, I stopped trusting my intuition. I’ve always been extremely intuitive but over the last couple years, it just hasn’t been what it was. Also the whole lack attracting stuff I guess is a good indicator as well.

Even though this made sense, I was hesitant because I thought she was going to offer some sort of “chakra cleansing” services or candle magic spell or something equally as sketchy. I skeptically asked her how one would even go about healing a chakra….I mean…right? Her answer? YouTube. If you can learn to repair a car engine or get the step by step on how to deep fry a turkey, you could also learn how to fix your chakras. I guess.

This all sounded great…go on YouTube, figure out what I need to do, do it, then manifest the shit out of life. Thennnn…I discovered the answer to what I need to do, is yoga. And meditation. But….WHHHHHYYYYYYYY. Dear Universe, this is starting to sound like a personal vendetta.

The 3rd and final option is crystals. I believe in a lot of crazy things and ideas. I’m a pretty open person. I’m not sure that crystal healing is one of them. Like, what do you do with them? Do they just sit around you? Or do you rub them on your body? What exactly is crystal etiquette? Do they just intrinsically know how to do whatever it is they’re supposed to do? Or do I have to do something so they know what I want them to do? Also, how crazy am I willing to look? Spencer Pratt, that douchebag from the Hills, is selling something called ‘Pratt Daddy Crystals’, so do I really want to entertain this level of ridiculousness?

Turns out, the answer to the last question is a begrudging yes. Citrine, the crystal suggested for this such chakra is very affordable and my desire to not do yoga is greater than not wanting to appear crazy. So, let the crystal douchebaggery commence. If I don’t succumb to the shame and actually follow though with the buying of said crystal, I’ll let you know how this works out for me. Just pleeeeaaaaseeeee don’t make me have to do yoga, Universe.

Yesterday I had every intention to get in a positive mindset and try the whole state of flow situation I read about (which is basically trying to stay in the moment while keeping a certain positive goal in mind). I am trying to attract more business and close some bigger events, such as weddings. When I got to work in the morning, I mustered up as much positivity that I could and was like, yeah! this is gonna be great! This lasted for a whole two minutes before I got another rejection for an event I was working on and then I gave up because I again was feeling super discouraged. Not even the comfort bagel I bought after finding out this news helped in any way. Maybe if drinking wine at work was acceptable I could have salvaged my mood and gotten more business opportunities and a better story for you guys today.

I wasn’t really feeling any less frustrated today and I was going to just eat another comfort bagel and sulk, but I decided instead that I needed a serious attitude check.

While I was mulling over how to go about this, I started thinking about my dwindling state of positivity over the years. There were some pretty dark times in the last 2 years, and I’ve been steadily working to get to a better place. But you know what? Maybe it’s OK. Maybe I don’t need to be the most happy, positive, smiling person overnight. Or ever, in regards to smiling. Maybe it’s just OK to be a little more positive and hopeful everyday and maybe soon I can tap into this state of flow thing. You hear that, state of flow? I’m trying. Maybe you could work with me here, please.

I’ve said it before: to attract things, you need to be on the same vibrational field as what you are trying to attract. For some people it’s just as simple as listening to the radio in the car, where in one moment you’re pretending to be all gangsta, rapping along with Drizzy . Then maybe you decide you would rather get your inner yeehaw on, and so you just hit the next pre-set button and there you are, bam– Kenny Chesney’s signing about boats and beer and Mexico. Law of Atraction really can be that easy. For me though, maybe I don’t have what I’m looking for already pre-set on the buttons and I have to do the annoying task of scrolling through each station looking for what I want to listen to.

So that’s where I am in life, slowly scrolling through the stations, trying to find the song I’m looking for, but all the goddamn stations are on commercial break so it’s taking me 5 times as long and I’m hoping I eventually find the right one before I lose my shit and rip the stereo out of the fucking car.

Yeah, I thought that was a pretty good analogy too. I’ve now upgraded my comfort bagel to a smug bagel. With extra cream cheese.

And yes, I did think about all this while I am at work and not working. And yes I do also realize that actually working while at work would probably also help with the whole getting more events booked.

Right. In conclusion: I should try to be a little more positive each day, do some fucking work, and I should probably question my emotional attachment to bagels.

The other day I was on Twitter instead of working, and one of the first things I saw in my newsfeed was an article touting trying something called “State of Flow” in the case that you happen to suck at regular meditation. First I thought “what the actual fuck is that“, then my second thought was “hey, I suck at meditation, let me see what’s up”. I’m not even sure how I am so bad at something that literally requires you to do nothing but here we are. So I read it, and in conclusion, it’s action meditation. Which sounds way worse that doing nothing meditation. I guess the idea is to focus on one thing or one goal as you go about your day. This sounds suspiciously like “visualization” or “being in the zone” but for a more prolonged period of time.

I’m pretty sure that these new age writers just change a small aspect of the same concept and call it something even more new-agey then their last concept. It’s like how taco bell will literally just take the sauce from inside the burrito and put it on the outside and call it something completely different. Mmmm Enchiritos….

But OK, maybe I could use a little new age burrito meditation in my life, since the meditation thing only works sporadically for me. Probably because I forget to do it like I should, but I digress. I’m down for trying something new even if I don’t think I could even say it out loud with a straight face. I have a short attention span so trying different Law of Attraction practices helps me to keep using LOA.

Things have been going pretty well in my life if you only take into consideration the job aspect of my life. That being said, after a busy few months at work, I’ve kind of hit a lag. My job is to book events, and at first I was booking appointments and receiving signed contracts like crazy. Lots of opportunities were coming my way and I was on a roll. A couple weeks ago, 5 really great events that would have meant a lot of money all fell though last minute, after the client had given me verbal confirmation they were ready to move forward with a contract. Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed. Since that, I’ve been booking some smaller events but struggling to close the bigger ones.

I need to re-set my mind to get back to the zone, and maybe this state of flow crap can help out with that if I try it during the day at work instead of scrolling through Twitter. But hey, I saw this new idea on there and I think everything happens for a reason so…. that’s how I’m going to justify it.

OK Universe, I’m putting this out there. Tomorrow I’m going to do this thing and close one big event that’s been in the works and attract 5 more solid leads. It’s happening universe. Get on board, and I’m gonna go get some taco bell.